Mussings during the last days of December 2013

Our mom turned 87 in December but we lost the essence of who she was about four years ago.She started repeating things over and over and forgetting where her beauty shop was and small things like that. Then she'd forget a name and could not recognize people that she did not see often. Then June 30, 2012 she did not know who I was and that hurt, a lot.   Now she often does not know who we are but she forgets who she is and does not recognize herself in the mirror or in pictures.  Reality for her has become what she imagines in her head. More than once she has gotten up in the morning and looked for her husband (our dad died almost ten years ago) and she told me her brother was coming to get her; he too has died, many years go. My family and I have learned just to accept and not try and  understand her world because if you try to help her or correct the facts for her she just gets angry and upset. Sometimes in a violent way.   So we listen and do what we can to help her maintain some sense of dignity.
Some find her dementia a bit amusing, I know, because her mental connections (or lack of them) can at times become decidedly different from reality. But her confusion and worry are real to her, as is her pain, and there is nothing comical about that. On some level, I know she knows something is wrong with her though she cannot articulate it. Her increasingly frequent paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, however, say all that needs to be said. She may have dementia but she has not lost her capacity to feel or fear. No amount of empathy from me can fill the deep hole that has opened in her life, and in her despair she is perhaps most connected to the reality that is here and the reality that awaits her.
I know I am not alone in facing both the helplessness I feel in trying to be of some aid to her and in the guilt that comes with the fact I do not -- perhaps cannot -- do more. Many caretakers and loved ones have it far worse than I do, because I can still talk to her -- though what transpires on a daily basis is more a monologue in which I listen to what she is saying and she ignores whatever I say.
The number of people, some young but mostly elderly, with dementia will rise dramatically as the population ages. This may be my future as well,  should I be fortunate enough to live a long life. At the same time, our ability to fight this disease and give those afflicted some additional years of mental capacity and a good quality of life is sorely lacking. Sadly, at this time no cure exists.
I know, most likely in the not too distant future, my mother will be gone in body as she now is in mind. Dementia will not only continue to overtake her but will, the medical professionals tell me, diminish both her will and capacity to live. I hang on to the thought during the twilight of her life that this is the natural course of things just as I realize that she has lived a long and full life. In that sense losing her carries nothing of the tragedy of those killed in wars or horrid events such as the many school shootings we have had that cut young promising lives short But that does not mean that losing her will come without pain. Amidst the sorrow, we will find ways to let her go and celebrate her life.

Start of a new week

Even though I haven't been posting my walking distances doesn't mean that I haven't been faithful to my routine. I have been doing at least 2 and half miles 5 days a week down from 3.1 miles. The distance reduction has been due to the extreme heat we've had here in central Texas and I expect to go back up to my usual when the days are cooler. Had another bummer when Lance Armstrong didn't pick up time on the first Alpine leg of the tour. True he is second, but a distant second. Guess you can't do at 37 what you did at 34...but I think the 3 year lay off had more to do with it than his age. Don't know if I'll watch it as much this last week since he's all but conceded the race to one of his teams other riders. Concerning Tom Watson's loss at the British open I think the sports casters are not being fair to Stewart Cink who beat Watson when they said he stole the tournament from him. He played better, therefore he won. Also Tom Watson is gentleman he's reported to be as his "I don't give a damn about Tiger Woods" statement reveals. Well, I don't give a damn about Tom Watson. Meanwhile there are other more serious things to think about like the fight for health care, which everyone deserves to have, not just the rich. And there is a young soldier being held captive who might lose his life and whose life or death plight is getting less air time than Michael Jackson's death. The entertainment news service these days only goes for ratings and not for the facts or truth in the stories but their opinions on the stories. It's a shame too because good, honest, reporting would be appreciated. Now for my pet peeve of the day. I'm often appalled by reading some of the comments by so called 'normal people' on stories found on websites. These people are mean spirited and downright hateful and they can't spell for taffy. It's scary and while there are times I would like to comment I don't because I don't want to get in an argument with some nut. But then again that's just my opinion. ;-)

We're gettng bigger, not better

It seems Americans are gung-ho on the dangers of smoking but are ignoring the dangers of obesity. While I'm not slim by any stretch of the imagination (in fact my BMI puts me in the moderately obese range) I do try to keep my weight under control and do some physical activity to keep my healthy and my fat cells at bay. Smoking does cause a variety of health problems but so does obesity. Eating healthy and staying active is something we can all do to make our quality of life better. Oh and I'm almost one of the 65 and beyond they are talking about.
AP Summary) – Mississippi's still king of cellulite, but an ominous tide is rolling toward the Medicare doctors in neighboring Alabama: obese baby boomers. It's time for the nation's annual obesity rankings and, outside of fairly lean Colorado, there's little good news. Obesity rates among adults rose in 23 states over the past year and didn't decline anywhere, says a new report.
And while the nation has long been bracing for a surge in Medicare as the boomers start turning 65, the new report makes clear that fat, not just age, will fuel much of those bills. In every state, the rate of obesity is higher among 55- to 64-year-olds—the oldest boomers—than among today's 65-and-beyond. That translates into a coming jump of obese Medicare patients that ranges from 5.2% in New York to 16.3% in Alabama, the report concluded. http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-07-01-most-obese-state_N.htm