LITTLE REST LAST NIGHT

Well it was a bumpy night . Mom never did get to sleep. I dozed off and on relying on the baby monitor to alert me if she left her room. She came out of her room a little after 5AM and Frank got up and made her some toast and gave her some orange juice. She went back to her room and came out again a little after seven. All the while even in my stupor, I could hear her talking. Frank made her some oatmeal and she went back to bed but I can hear her still talking and walking around her room. I pray that she surely will have to crash soon.  It is my opinion, based on my experiences in taking care of her that she is 'cycling'. It is a condition that happens every six to seven days that results in extreme erratic behavior. After the behavior ends she crashes into a deep sleep for many hours and when she wakes she is back to her normal self, or what counts for normal given her severe cognitive decline.

Late Night Ramblings

It's 11:30am. I went to sleep about 10 but then was awakened by my mom walking down the hallway. I got up and found her in the kitchen. She was looking for "Homer", an old boyfriend she used to see after our dad died. Homer has since died and I guess he's easier to remember than our dad is since he died 2 years ago and our dad died 9 years ago. Anyway, I got her back into bed and about 15 minutes later she got up again and said her mother was bringing her something and wanted to sit on the porch and wait for her.  Her mother died about 66 years ago. I got her into bed again. Hopefully she'll stay in bed this time and fall asleep and I can get some sleep too. I'll say it again, I wouldn't wish dementia/alz on anyone. It's horrible. I hope other care givers all over the world can get some sleep tonight to face another day in purgatory. There are bright moments to be sure but they are few and far between since her disease has progressed. She was such an independent, regal, smart, tireless and optimistic person that it's heartbreaking to see her deteriorate. Sometimes I pray for her release and then feel bad for doing so. Thank goodness for my husband who helps me get through each day and also our children and grand children who offer the support they can. Friends too, like Elaine. They all are angels and I couldn't do this without them. The posting says I posted this at 9 something pm, I wonder if the blogpost server is on west coast time? Cause it's almost midnight my time.